WINNING (and other stuff)

I've been too busy to update, so here's a brief recap of what has happened in the world of the Rising Suns since our last post:


This is actually after the 23-7 loss



• We had a make-up game against P&P, which we lost 15-4 in pretty wet conditions
• We joined TFI on Memorial Day for a scrimmage/BBQ that was a lot of fun. By we, I mean me and Sarah.
• One week after our scrimmage, more of the team was there for an actual game against the 'tute:
• Charlotte caught a line drive to get Buddy out
• BPH had a homer
• We ate tasty burgers and hot dogs
• This was the first game in which we went into extra innings
• I fell/slid into home for the tying run in the bottom of the 8th
• Erin scored the winning run off of a base hit from Ben Brown
• WE WON 14-13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• This win was BK & Allie's official Rising Suns wedding send-off bonanza
• The very next evening, we did battle with the Zoo
• Most agree that this was the most fun game since last season
• Probably because there was good heckling
• Dom Brown Hussey had another homer
• But we lost 23-7
• But then it was Hoagie Fest
• I was talked into two things at Hogie Fest:
• Beer Bong
• Fire Jumping (a la Tucker)
• BK and Allie got married

Onto the important stuff:

Quotes:

"After they're married, Allie should go by AK and make her jersey number 47." - Ice Cube

"Pat struck out with the bases loaded!" - Mickles

"Make sure you mention that I got Buddy out." - Scrappy

"Pat struck out with the bases loaded!" - Mickles



"Stop sliding or start wearing pants. Dumbass." - My Mom



"I've never actually done a beer bong before." - This guy

"Oh, this is happening now." - B3

"Pat struck out with the bases loaded!" - Mickles

"This is the best thing that's going to happen to him this week." - Someone who very much wanted to remain anonymous

"We have cups." - Some silly person while the bottle of champagne was being passed around

"Just stick it in her butt already." - Whitmarsh to some guy talking to some girl. I don't know who, it was dark and I was drunk.

"I hit the ball! Twice!" - Tiff

"I keep getting put into positions I don't want to experience." - Boomer (Scrappy could not be reached for comment)

"It was so much better on the way out." - BVDubs

"Nice beard." - Tambourine Matt, heckling

"Stop drinking our beer!" - Ventrola

"Drink our beer!" - Commish Ed, about two minutes later

"Thanks Phyllis!" - The CCSL, post-Hoagie Fest

Farts, Fire, and Facial Follicles

Previously on Rising Suns Softball: We lost some games, I made a bet, my place of work caught on fire, etc etc.

Tonight's Episode: First and foremost, allow me to apologize to both of you for not updating last week. I was busy. Sorry. Moving on.

Last week we did battle with the other worst team in the league, Team Green Tambourine. Hot off their seventh-inning upset of the Franklin Force, TGT carried that momentum into the game against us. There were some costly mistakes on our part that led to runs on their part, and there was a lot of blood. Between BK and TGT Adam, we ran through most of the supplies in my First Aid kit.

A Harlot and a Hussey boozin'

Following the heartbreaker against the Tambos, we faced their archnemesis, the Fart Museum. Now, I know a fair amount of people who work for the PMA. Some of them have some vague idea that their institution has a CCSL team, some of them first heard of it from me. Either they have a vast staff or a handful of ringers. Or both. Whatever the case may be, we dropped a tough one.

As BK pointed out, we struggled at the plate but the Farties also made some good grabs in the outfield that may have resulted in a hit against another team. Oh well. We started off the game by giving up a bunch of runs, but managed to (somewhat) contain the Farties after that. On a personal note, after five and a half seasons in the CCSL, I struck out for the first time. Aboo.

The Scores: 22-4 (TGT) and 13-2 (PMA)

Mr. Bump Injury Report: In the TGT game, BK got banged up after a collision at home plate. Josh took a ball to the face the following week and added some artsy red spots to his shirt. My beard left my face in shame after the TGT loss. All are expected to recover.

Aesop's Moral Victory of the Game: As First Lobster put it: "At least Pat lost a bet."

Judah Friedlander Champion of the Game: Huss Buss. I'm fairly certain he made one of his trademark sliding catches in one or both of the games.

Quotes:



Dramatic reenactment of Ben's reaction

 "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I WAS SAFE!!" - Ben Brown, who, according to the person calling the play, was safe, to the PMA pitcher

"If you're on it, you're gonna want to do something." - Kat

"I should take my glasses off, I take a lot of balls to the face." - Ali V

"This is so going on my Facebook page!" - Josh (I forget what this was in reference to)

"I hit like my marital status: single." - Mr. Ben Brown

"It's been awhile, we did it a couple weeks ago." - Kat

"I got hit on the side of my bikini ride." - BK

"This is going to be legen- wait for it even though we're not playing on that field -Dairy." - Ben Brown

The Artists Formerly Known As Bad Touch

Tomorrow we head over to Dairy 2 for a game against The Please Touch Museum Team Green Tambourine. Normally, this post would be super easy as all I would have to do is make a few Bad Touch jokes. But alas, they went and changed their name to Team Green Tambourine for some reason, so no touchy jokes.

Oh well

In addition to the name change, I have started working at Bad Please Touch so I may have been hesitant to make those jokes anyway. (Right)

Anyway, moving on. There have been varying reports as to why the Touchers went through the name change this year. Many believed they joined forces with the Barnes, which is apparently not true. Some have speculated that they just tired of the aforementioned touchy jokes. Others saw it as an attempt to separate the team from the institution, which while false, has worked. Whenever I mention playing softball at work, the most common response is "Oh, we used to have a team." But I am here to share the real reason with you. Ladies and gentleman, behold Green Tambourine:

 

As it turns out, this groovy 1968 track has been the Bad Touch theme song for years. It tells the tale of a desperate man who will do anything for a few cents. Seriously. "Give me pennies I'll take anything" this poor soul sings. "Drop a dime before I walk away, any song you want I'll gladly play." As the Touchers struggled over the past few years, they turned to this Lemon Pipers tune for comfort. Said one unnamed TGT player after a difficult loss, "The song reminds us that even though we lost, at least we haven't turned to prostitution just yet." 

Things were not going well for TGT. After an early season forfeit, they had to cancel another game due to rain. This wouldn't be a big deal, as every other game in the league was postponed that day, until a taint-obsessed blog post from the Farties rained on everyone's parade. Yet somehow TGT soldiered on, putting that delusional, ranting tirade behind them and getting a close, seventh inning win over the Franklin Force. 

Buddy, drinking with a stuffed penguin after the loss

Enough about them. Let's talk now about why we're going to beat them. First, there is revenge. Last year, we played them on a miserable day at Belmont. On said miserable day, they whooped us 22-5 and Spellman broke his foot. Second, my beard is on the line. TGT shortstop Adam and I bet our beards on this game. Third, and this is the best reason to do anything: because we can. TGT is a beatable team. If we play smart and don't give up that dreaded big inning, we got this.

That being said, we're going to win. I expect it'll be a close game, potentially ending with us coming back and winning it in the bottom of the seventh. They have some good hitters and fielders, but so do we. If we contain them and be patient at the plate, I see us putting one in the W column. Either way, someone is showing up at the PTM staff meeting on Wednesday beardless. Let's make it the other guy.

Shock Collar

Previously on Rising Suns Softball: We played with ourselves and enjoyed it.

Tonight's Episode: Prior to this game, I was thinking we could perchance squeak out a close upset or at least put up a decent fight against the Collar. I was wrong. The Collar is easily the best fielding team in the league and it showed last night as they kept us contained to 4 runs. What I did not expect was for them to hit as well as they did. Oh well.

Photo by BK

I will say this, our play continues to improve. Several batters managed to put the ball in the very few holes the Collar left open. Communication in the field was better this week, and our fielding was smarter. We had a few close plays at second that Collar runners just barely beat. As per usual, errors were costly, but as a whole the team has been reducing the amount of errors each game. One error that continues to haunt us is making a throw in the heat of the moment. Several fielders have a tendency to throw the ball without looking at their target. This especially hurts with throws to second, where we generally have shorter players.

The Score: 29-4

Mr. Bump Injury Report: Allie took a ball to the arm and Joe Barber rolled his ankle.

Aesop's Moral Victory of the Game: The Snark Tank was not needed.

When Your Bank Says No, Champion Says yes Champion of the Game: John Pugh, for turning a good grab in the outfield into a double play and BPH for a sliding catch in the outfield.

Quotes:

"Did you get it because of the huge sweet spot?" - BPH, about Charlotte's bat

"If it's any consolation, we lost 30-8 to the Zoo." - Budsy

"Science > Softball" - Three unnamed Academy staff

"Why don't you slide?" - The Goo Goo Dolls, to Ali V

"You always say cover me if it comes but it never comes!" - Scrappy

"Is that Snark Tank-worthy?" - Eager Collar players who are fans of the Snark Tank

"Hey, I can't make the game today. Can you try and injure Pat for me?" - Josh
"I'll see what I can do." - Huss Buss

Smack My Bishop

It's a lovely day for softball, gals and guys. Tonight, we venture to Edgely 8 to do battle with last year's CCSL runner-up, Bishop's Collar. The Collar, like Catahoula, are a very good defensive team. Good hitting and smart base running will go a long way this evening. Apart from that, the Collar is kind of all over the place this year with a 2-4 record and scores as diverse as the cast of Doug.

Talk about a melting pot

Last year's meetings with the Collar both ended with losses, a 26-8 loss in May and a 22-13 loss in June. I think we will do a bit better this evening and keep it close. Who knows, maybe we can build off of the momentum of last week's half-win to upset the Collar. Either way, they're a fun team so tonight should be a good time. I leave you now with a little video from our friends over at Fox.

Go Suns!

The Sun Also Rises

Previously on Rising Suns Softball: We struggled against the top two teams in the league and had our game against Pen and Pencil rained out.



Tango!



Tonight's Episode: The Rising Suns split down the middle for an epic battle of Rising vs. Suns. This scrimmage allowed us to try out some new positions in the field and fool around with the batting order a bit. The game remained very close, as expected, until the 5th/6th innings (depends on which captain you ask). Both sides hit well and the fielding was promising.

BK opened up the scoring with a home run, and just about everyone got on base at some point. Amy Hussey was a bad ass in right center and shortstop, making clutch plays when Josh wasn't trying to kill her. Mike "Boomer Sooner" McCracken made up for a few fumbles by getting me out late in the game. Barry's pitching absolutely befuddled Team Suns, as it has several of our opponents this year. Harry Potter had a good turn on the mound as well, particularly with his heckling.

Several people did well in new positions. Jill and Tiff used their fancy science for some plays at short and second, respectively. Allie pitched an inning, B3 held it down at first, Erin was impressive at second. Unfortunately, I never did get around to playing catcher, but it's cool. The world isn't ready for that amount of heckling.

Victory tastes sweet

The Score: Suns 22 - Rising 10

Mr. Bump Injury Report: B3 was walking gingerly with hamstring issues. Barry, Spellman, and Mike M were all a bit banged up. Liana was icing her ankle at some point. But Tango is ok.

Aesop's Moral Victory of the Game: Everyone got to play, we had fun.

When Your Bank Says No, Champion Says Yes Champion of the Game: Team Rising, for playing without BVDubs and John Pugh, and First Lobster for paying BVDubs and John Pugh not to come.

Quotes:

"Way to spread those legs!" - HP on BK's batting stance

"She just wants to get to first base." - Me, about Charlotte
"Yeah, stop cock blocking me!" - Charlotte, to Mike


The aftermath of Josh tackling Amy



"Is that the position you're playing?" - A bad ass to an outfielder who moved from right center to shallow left

"That's at least 40 points in skeeball." - Some asshole about a low pitch

"Stop arguing!" - Switzerland

"It's like Thanksgiving!" - The Pope

"I'm just explaining!" - BK

"Got it!" - What A. Hussey actually said
"Please run over here and knock me over." - What Josh heard

"Made you look!" - Scrappy to Boomer, after she did, in fact, make him look

"We're a Friends sitcom on Thanksgiving. We play against each other, fight, and half of us have made out or slept with each other." - Source Unknown

A Guaranteed Win

You win some, you lose some. Tonight, we do both! The night has arrived in which the Rising Suns split for Team Rising VS Team Suns. If everyone shows up, I am fairly certain we're looking at an 11 on 11 match up.

Team Suns, captained by First Lobster Ali, includes Joe Barber, Scrappy Doo, Amy "the Bad Ass" Hussey, KLynch, Kat, Josh, Harry Potter, the Pope, Jill the Scientist, and yours truly. Team Rising, captained by BK, has the other 11 people. I'm fairly certain that team includes Allie, BVDubs, BPH, and Walter subbing for John Pugh.








 

 

 

What's at stake are three things:

1. Bragging rights, obviously
2. The losing team buys the first round of pitchers for the victors tonight
3. Some sort of side-bet with the Captains. I don't know what BK gets if he wins, but Ali gets to do the lineup for a game TBD should her team be victorious.

More importantly than all of that, tonight is a night for having fun, trying new positions, and playing the field.


See what I did there?

 My prediction is that it will be a close game and people will have fun. Particularly during the inning in which I am catching and thus able to mercilessly heckle each batter.

Expect discourse to remain on this level

That's all I've got. See you tonight.